Mr. Maui

Left on my own to shop recently, I parked on the lot of a local outside mall thinking to purchase a soft, warm blanky for a friend in need of comfort. As I walked across the lot a large, white SUV with an unusual license plate caught my eye. The plate said, “MRMAUI”.  I figured a recent transplant from Hawaii, right? Nope, it was a Missouri plate. MRMAUI from Missouri? What insane parallel universe is he from that Mr. Maui from Missouri makes sense? Was Maui, Missouri just founded? And why would Mr. Maui live in Missouri? Wouldn’t he be more likely to live maybe even in Honolulu? Conceivably he may not live on Maui, but he sure as hell wouldn’t live in MISSOURI!! I’m pretty confident about that statement. He shouldn’t be allowed to run around with a Missouri plate that says “MRMAUI”. The plate’s frame had palm trees on it. He even had one of those cheap leis you can get at party stores hanging from his rear view mirror. Yeah, that made it look authentic.

        It’s Missouri; a more appropriate plate might be “MRWORLDS FAIR”, “MRBUD”, or even “MRHICKASS”. Maybe ignore that last one. Nothing says hick ass like putting MRMAUI on a midwestern plate.